names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize