Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
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