apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
