This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
her vagine was all disorganized.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
My dick has a subreddit
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
