So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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