Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
