Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
