The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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