remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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