She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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