Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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