What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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