Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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