Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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