ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
