I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
