I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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