even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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