she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
