omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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