i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
