Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
