Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
