Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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