its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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