You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
