just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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