from now on my penis is your penis
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
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