Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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