ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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