she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I look better un-naked...
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
