My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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