sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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