ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
