and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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