I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
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