We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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