Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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