Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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