He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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