Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
