tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize