Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
