she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
