So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
