I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Randomize
