Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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