dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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