So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
