I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
