just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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