At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
