Duck Duck Cougar?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
