Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
He is an equal opportunity slut.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Randomize
