Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
