I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize