He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
