Sry I called you an 8
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
