i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
there's paper in my vomit.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i just google imaged poop.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize