Well douche your snatch and let's go!
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
