So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
