So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
