there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
