is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
