u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
