i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
