I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
