I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
