I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
