Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
