I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Randomize
