Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
