Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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