Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize