i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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